Control, Fear, and the Authoritarian Personality
“In times of fear and feelings of lack, there is a rise of the authoritarian personality. When resources seem scarce and when we think we need to fight to satisfy our basic human needs, we adopt authoritarian traits.
Most bullies have been raised by one to become one.
The trick is that no one can be raised to be oppressive or authoritarian only toward the others. The authoritarian mentality always includes an aspect of oppression, control, and bullying toward the individual in question.
Authority constricts and congests. People become “overpowered” by power. They begin preferring a stronghold of a situation. They want to be in control because they believe that being in control means holding the reins of fear in life.
You have probably met at least one teacher or boss in your life who is like that. And yes, many parents are like that, too. Ah, yes, and, by reading these lines, you become aware that there is one control freak living right there in your head.
There is nothing wrong with practicing healthy authority. Most people have never been taught how to do that. Therefore, many people turn into bullies.
People become authoritarians because it is easier to take control by violence than it is to recognize one’s deep needs that lie behind the need to control.
Control is always induced by fear.
And fear is a result of lack of love, support, encouragement, hope, rest, security, approval, acceptance, respect, understanding, and recognition. The unsatisfied needs from this list are typically the drive behind the bully’s actions.
As humans, we have evolved far enough to order food by talking to a search engine voice machine. But governed by control and fear, we still haven’t evolved as far as to gain proper anti-bullying skills.”
(The above text is an excerpt from Understand & Disempower the Bully: You Are Good As You Are)
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